It has been a busy weekend indeed, working a booth at the
Jazz Educators Network’s annual convention. I work in part for Woodwind and
Brasswind, an online band and orchestra retailer whose catalog and web content
is developed in the Los Angeles area. I lead a cubicle existence, generating
and editing copy for the Woodwind and Brasswind website and catalog along with
parts of the pro audio section of the Musician’s Friend catalog and website, so
these convention duties are a welcome change. In the three years I have worked
for the Guitar Center family of companies in Westlake Village, I have traveled
to Dallas, Atlanta, Grand Rapids, Columbus and now, San Diego to attend various
trade shows and conventions. For this most recent one I drove down, which
combined with a busy show and a gig I had previously booked in Los Angeles,
precipitated a particularly intense 36 hours or so.
I worked nine to five on the convention floor on Friday,
whose cacophonous din sounded like a pet shop on fire for eight hours straight.
So Friday at five, I dashed out of the convention hall to make it to my gig at
The House of Blues in Hollywood by 10:30. Traffic was medium, catching the
suitcase crowd out of San Diego heading to whatever the Friday workweek
antidote was, a cabin in the foothills, skiing in the mountains or a hotel room
by the sea, and I got to the House of Blues by 9:00 where I met my lady Debra
and our friend Debbie. The band had a nice set, and Debbie, Debra and I got on
the road before midnight, encountering next to no traffic all the way and
expecting to make the hotel room by 2:00 AM and get six hours of sleep before
getting up to work the convention floor again on Saturday.
Eight miles outside of San Diego, traffic stopped completely
and stayed stopped for ten or fifteen minutes. Some mobile web investigation
indicated that a man was over the barrier on the Seaworld Drive highway
overpass bridge and was threatening to jump. A traffic service additionally
indicated that there was an accident in the area, which was supported by two
wreckers that drove past in the left breakdown lane. The Occam’s Razor on that
would be that during the dramatic slowing of traffic that probably occurred
when the suicidal man was engaged with the police, a collision occurred between
one or more inattentive drivers.
After another half hour or so, traffic began to move and we
were funneled down to one lane by way of a slowly accelerating arc of highway
flares that passed by the place where a man who of sound mind or not decided
that hurling himself from a highway bridge thirty feet onto asphalt was how he
would end his Friday night and his life.
Hundreds of cars filed past his sheeted body, surely dwarfing the
procession that will honor his casket. An explosion of colored lights from
emergency vehicles and police cars heralded his passing, perhaps the grand
tribute he sought in life but couldn’t find. You could speculate on a life of
ennobled suffering, loved ones taken by chance, by murder or by betrayal.
Perhaps his life’s losses were born of neglect ascribable to a preference of his
own selfish pursuits over the needs of those who counted on him, the remains of
his shredded conscience at last pushing him to swing a leg over the rail.
Information technology being what it is, I could probably dig out the story and
find a police report, but it seems more decent to let the police, the priests
and the worms do their work. Whatever his woe, and whatever fool this man may
or may not have been, he now knows the detailed answer to a question that I believe
none of the rest of us do, but that many of the rest of us are nonetheless pretty
damn sure about.
We rolled into the Grand Hyatt a little after three and I
enjoyed four or five hours of dead sleep before hitting the convention floor
again for another eight hour stretch, followed by breaking the booth down and
loading the gear and the signage into boxes and onto pallets. That took us
until about 8:00 and I then met the ladies for a set of music at a club on Shelter
Island, finally wrapping it up for a much-needed crash at around midnight.
The work provided wherewithal, the driving provided solace
and meditation, the gig provided artistic release, the suicide provided a time
for gratitude and reflection and the company provided the love and sharing I
need to feel human. Thirty-six hours of pretty high output. I have discovered
that I am not too old for this shit.
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